


Hogwarts Prank Club

by Kamiccola



Series: Werewolves of the Harry Potter world [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Marauders, Middle School, Mischief, Moony - Freeform, POV Remus Lupin, Prank Wars, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Quote: Mischief Managed (Harry Potter), Werewolf Remus Lupin, Werewolves, Young Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-05-19 03:46:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19348846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamiccola/pseuds/Kamiccola
Summary: Remus Lupin, a shy, young werewolf, must win a pranking competition to earn his place among the wizard children.A lighthearted tale of building friendship and confidence while having fun. Who will become the Prank King?





	1. Invitation

**Author's Note:**

> These awesome characters and their world belong to J. K. Rowling.

“Remus John Lupin.”

Remus flinched, hearing his name read by the tall witch in a pointy hat. His dad assured him that this was the easiest part, but he trembled on the inside when taking the steps forward.

What if the Sorting Hat refused to sort him? He wasn’t like the rest of these children. He was a part-beast. If the Hat could see inside his mind, then it would learn his secret!

“It’s alright. Just sit,” the witch said, but her tone indicated impatience.

He sat down on the stool and gripped his seat, aware that hundreds of pairs of eyes were on him right now. He saw the shadow of the old pointy hat as it was lowered onto his head and feared the worst. It was too large, and he flinched again when it covered his eyes so he could only see its dark inside.

_Hmmmm._

He heard a voice inside his mind. It was the Hat! It was inside his head! He urged himself to not think about his secret. He thought of food. He was slightly hungry already. When would food be served? He was in the mood for a juicy sausage.

_Not to worry,_ the Hat said in his head, _I’m not here to spill any secrets, only to sort you. You have great compassion and kindness, but also a deep desire to protect others. It is a tricky choice._

Remus did not care what the Hat decided. He just wanted to belong somewhere, anywhere, he wanted to be one of these kids and have friends for the first time in his life.

“GRYFFINDOR!” the Hat said out loud, making him jump in his seat.

The witch took the Hat off his head, and the students at one of the tables exploded in cheers. His fingers felt stiff when he released the stool, and his legs felt heavy as he approached his new House-mates.

He sent a silent ‘Thank you’ to the Sorting Hat and walked up to his future friends, his nerves melting when met with their smiles and welcoming pats on the back.

He was a part of something. He was a Gryffindor.

Remus sat down next to a boy with overgrown, curly brown hair who was grinning ear to ear and practically pulled him down to his seat.

“I’m a Gryffindor!” the boy said in a hushed tone. “Can you believe it? I’ll show them all that I’m not a snake. I’m a lion!”

Remus chuckled, unsure how to react. “It’s nice to meet you, Lion. I’m Remus.”

The boy barked out a laugh. “I’m Sirius, Sirius Black. I just meant that everyone in my family has been in Slytherin. They’ll be outraged that I’m a Gryffindor. I can’t wait to see their faces when I come home with a Gryffindor lion banner.”

Remus happily listened to Sirius ramble on about how much he wanted to stick it to his parents but kept worrying what the boy thought about him. He wished he had long hair like him so he could pull it over his face to hide his scars but his mom insisted that he get a nice haircut. Who cared what his hair looked like when his face looked like he was mauled by a bear?

But it wasn’t a bear, was it. No, an injury from a bear attack could be healed by magic. Scars like his were cursed, could never be magicked-away - just like his condition.

The sorting continued and they clapped for few more boys and girls who joined their table. Remus cheered for each one with equal enthusiasm, hoping that they all become his friends while Sirius already knew some of them.

After the sorting, Professor Dumbledore made a short speech, food appeared out of nowhere and all whispers turned into excited conversations as the evening feast started.

“And so we’re both in Gryffindor,” a lanky bespectacled boy called James said to Sirius while they dug in. “I’m not surprised that I’m here. Lion blood runs in my family. What about you, Remus?”

Remus’ heart picked up pace as he realized that they included him in their conversation again. “My dad was Ravenclaw actually.”

“You’re the new and improved version then.”

James clapped him on the back while scanning the faces of the adults at the staff table.

“So, these are our teachers,” he said while pursing his lips. “I’ve heard of some of them but haven’t met them yet.”

Remus noticed the Headmaster at the center of the table with his long white beard, wearing flowery robes. He owed it all to him. If not for the old wizard, Remus would never have gotten a chance to attend this school like a normal kid.

“I only know Professor Dumbledore.”

The Headmaster was in a conversation with the tall witch who did the sorting. He couldn’t remember her name. He had never met as many people in his life as he had met today.

“How did you meet him?” James asked.

“He came over to speak with my parents and… make arrangements.”

Remus was starting to worry where this conversation was going. He couldn’t tell anyone why he needed special arrangements. If anyone found out about his condition, he would have to leave school.

“What arrangements?”

He quickly thought of a way to cover up his blunder.

“My parents were planning to homeschool me.”

“Good thing he convinced them otherwise then.”

Remus couldn’t agree more with that statement.

Sirius cut his pork chop into small pieces, elegantly eating with knife and fork. “Did you hear that there are werewolves at Hogwarts?”

Remus spat out his pumpkin juice and stared at him in shock.

“That’s just a rumor,” James said while spinning his fork between his fingers.

“I heard it’s more than that.”

Remus looked between them, trying to gauge if they were talking about him.

“What do you think, Remus?”

He swallowed and tried to sound casual. “What would you do if it were true?”

“I’d take a trip to the Forbidden Forest to meet them. I wonder how many there are. Do you think they walk on four legs or two?”

Remus sighed in relief. They didn’t know.

He took a slow drink of his juice to calm his nerves before answering. “I bet they’d love to meet you as well and have you over for supper.”

James chuckled at his joke while Sirius pursed his lips like he was going to argue but in the end, smiled as well. ”I like your spunk, Remus.”

Remus was delighted to find that he shared a dorm with Sirius and James whom he liked instantly, but was bummed that they appeared to be good friends already. Could he be their friend as well or would he be the third wheel?

They had another roommate, Peter, a short, stocky boy with thin mousy-brown hair. It was the same boy who caused a massive slowdown during sorting.

“I was a Hatstall, can you believe it?” Peter said while holding his hands up by his chin and drumming his fingers against each other. “The last one was like fifty years ago.”

“I was next in line, yeah, I noticed,” James said and stretched on his bed, his legs crossed at the ankles. “I can't wait until they let us play Quidditch. This year is going to be great.”

“Yes, it is!” said Sirius while admiring the new Gryffindor emblem on his school robes.

Remus hoped for the same, but his eyes were involuntarily drawn to the window, where a new moon just came out of the clouds. The coming year would give him an opportunity to make friends for the first time in his life but only if he could keep his condition a secret. Was it possible?

☾

The next few days were far surpassing his expectations. No one noticed that there was something different about him. So far only a couple of Slytherin kids made a comment on his scarred face, everyone else politely stayed clear off the topic.

Until one day, Peter got curious and finally asked while the four of them walked to class. “So, what happened to your face?”

Remus was expecting this question and already rehearsed it with his parents. “I fell into an enchanted rose garden when I was small and it put up a fight.”

Peter winced but seemed satisfied with the answer.

“That’s just bad luck,” said Sirius and clapped Remus on the back.

“I don’t remember it much but I’m pretty sure I showed that rose who’s the boss.”

The boys chuckled and pushed him into their classroom. He laughed with them but deep inside he wished he didn’t have to lie.

Well, he had to get used to it. Lying was going to be necessary. They would never want to be friends with a werewolf. In fact, even though he pretended to be normal, would they want to be his friends at all?

Both James and Sirius came from well-known Pure-Blood families and everyone looked up to them. James had the ambition to become a Quidditch star and Peter already swore to do everything to help him make that happen. Sirius had a refined rebel vibe about him and natural charisma that drew people in.

What did Remus have to offer? Aside from his cursed condition, he was absolutely ordinary. He had no hidden talents, nothing that would make anyone want to be his friend. What could he do?

The answer to that question came to him in the most unexpected way.

Friday afternoon, Remus was unpacking his bookbag and noticed a fat envelope inside which held a note and a shiny gold badge.

He inspected the badge first. Letters HPC were written on it in bold letters and under them was a plain red circle.

Then he read the note.

 

_Congratulations. You’re a part of a carefully selected group of Hogwarts residents who were chosen to take part in Hogwarts Prank Club._

_Rule #1. Don’t talk about the Hogwarts Prank Club._

_You cannot opt out. You can only lose._

_Your badge is enchanted to automatically increment when you successfully execute a prank. It will turn black when you lose._

_You lose if:_   
_You get caught by a teacher._   
_You get successfully pranked by another HPC member._   
_You break Rule #1._

_You have two months to execute as many pranks as you can. The winner with the most pranks will be announced Prank King or Queen._

_Let the best prankster win!_

 

Remus examined the badge again. Was this a real competition or a joke? How would whoever planned this know how many pranks he executed? What counted as a prank? Was there a reward? He had a lot of questions, but alongside them, ideas started to form in his head.

Someone chose him to be a part of this secret club and he wanted to prove that he belonged in it. Maybe pranking was the hidden talent he needed to make friends?

  
☾☾☾

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think a shy kid like Remus would make a good prankster?


	2. An apple a day

The boys trudged on to the dreaded History of Magic class and occupied themselves with Quidditch talk while Remus was busy planning. He wanted to get started with pranking but choosing the victim was more difficult than he predicted.

It would be hilarious if he could prank a teacher but he was a little scared of getting caught. It would be the easiest to prank his roommates but how to do it without them finding out? He observed them while they walked to History of Magic, trying to find any weaknesses he could exploit.

James was spinning a wand between his fingers. “Flying lesson this Wednesday. I’ve been flying for years. It’s easier than walking. What about you, Sirius?”

Sirius walked with his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, I can fly. Remus?”

Remus shook his head. His parents rarely let him play outside, let alone fly. “I do better on the ground.”

“I’m really excited,” Peter bugged in, trailing close behind them. “I’ve always wanted to learn. Will you show me some cool tricks, James?”

Remus wondered if he could prank them when they were trying out their brooms later but didn’t know how. Would they notice if he switched out a flying broom for a regular broom?

They sat in the back of the classroom and tried to entertain themselves with Quidditch talk but it wasn’t enough to save them from the dreadfully dull voice of the ghost of Professor Binns who lulled most of the class to sleep. Soon, his friends nodded off which left Remus alone with his excited thoughts.

He sat behind his friends between two Gryffindor girls who dozed off as well. Mary was currently sprawled on the table, her wand was next to her hand. Amber was slumped in her seat, her wand was poking out of the pocket of her robes. The two pieces of wood looked so alike, they could be mistaken for each other.

Everyone in the classroom was either already asleep or in a bored trance like Peter, who was currently doodling what looked like the letter “J” in his notebook.

Very quietly, Remus swapped their wands and resumed listening to the lecture.

The whole day, he waited for them to notice that their wands were not their own, but it was only during the last lesson, Charms when the girls tried to cast Lumos that the prank came to fruition.

“Ow,” Mary complained when the rebellious wand poked her in the eye. “What’s wrong with this thing?”

Amber tried to cast the spell and the wand slipped out of her hand, refusing to be used. Just as she reached for it, the wand shot forward a foot. Everyone laughed as she chased it around the classroom and the stubborn wand refused to let her or anyone else touch it. Even Professor Flitwick tried to help but it was only when Mary reached for it, that the wand allowed itself to be captured.

“Hey, that’s mine.”

Amber, her hair frizzled from the ordeal, examined the wand that poked Mary in the eye.

“Why do you have my wand?”

Remus sat completely still as the girls exchanged confused looks and waited if they would guess that the only time when they could have had their wands swapped was while they were napping.

“We must have swapped them in the morning when getting ready,” Mary finally said.

Amber smoothed out her hair and laughed it off, and they got back to the lesson, completely oblivious to what really happened.

When the lesson ended, Remus snuck a look at the badge in his pocket. The previously blank white circle now had a bright red “1” written inside it.

The prank counted. He was in the Club.

☾

The next day, Remus was eager to raise his prank count. He wondered if other members of the Club had already started. It was only day two. Would they have executed more than one prank and gotten ahead of him?

Initially, he might have wanted to be in the Club just to be a part of something and to test if he had any hidden talents, but the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to win the competition. What could the prize be? Would he get to meet the other members? Would they get up to mischief together when the competition was over?

During lunchtime, the four of them sat together as usual. Remus was happy with the daily routine. The only new routine he wasn’t looking forward to was coming in two weeks - the one that involved the full moon, but he tried to not stress himself with it. He was still feeling normal right now and he would take full advantage of it.

He reached for an apple but stopped before biting into it. His excellent sense of smell picked up an unfamiliar scent on it, one that did not belong on an apple. He tried another one from the bowl with the same result and finally decided to skip his apple routine today.

A couple of minutes later, an older Gryffindor girl took one of the apples and bit into it without hesitation. Before she could take a second bite, she burped so loudly that everyone stopped whatever they were doing and stared. Her cheeks flamed red and she covered her mouth just to burp again. People started chuckling.

“I don’t knooooarp,” she tried to say through burps that sounded like a croaking frog, “what’s going ooooarp.”

Everyone now laughed and her friend spoke up. “Daisy, I think you got pranked with Belch Powder.”

Remus gasped. No. _He_ was the one that almost got pranked. Someone who knew that he always ate an apple after breakfast wanted to get him good.

He looked at his roommates who were all amused at the burping girl. Who was it and were they in the Club? Was one of them his competition?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think about the pranks so far?  
> Coming up next, surprise, more pranks - many, many more pranks.


	3. Competition

It was now day three since the Hogwarts Prank Club began the countdown and Remus’ badge displayed only one prank. He had to raise his number but wondered what counted as a prank and how the point system worked and so he tried out a few simple ideas.

He pulled a chair from under one unsuspecting student, which sent him to the floor. He checked his badge afterwards - it incremented.

And so simple, silly pranks counted.

In that case, he did not hold back his simple, silly ideas, causing small mayhem everywhere he went but careful to not prank the same person twice, and of course, to not get caught.

He swapped one Ravenclaw’s full ink bottle with his empty one - his badge incremented.

He snuck into the Quidditch changing room and filled the Hufflepuff Seeker’s gloves with sand - his badge incremented.

He admired the number four on his badge and wondered how many pranks fellow HPC members could have executed by now.

As the week progressed, he spotted evidence of the Club’s work.

Someone pranked Professor Flitwick which they found out during Charms.

“It won’t escape your notice. I’m sure you will hear in time,” said the short Professor while stacking books on the floor, “that all day today - I will talk in rhyme.”

He climbed the books like stairs and sat down on his desk while the students looked among themselves, wondering what he was talking about.

“It was a charm contained within a piece of paper. I opened it - and out came enchanted vapor. I don’t know who did it or why they chose me, but I sort of like this joke so I’ll let it be.”

The class chuckled and the short Professor beamed at them.

“I’m not opposed to laughter, you know how my lessons are run, but I think we can all have the same amount of fun. And so I ask you to speak in rhyme as well. Turn your books to page fifteen and let’s learn the new spell.”

And the whole lesson he did not allow anyone to say anything that wasn’t in rhyme. The four of them took it as their cue to have fun with it and finish each other’s sentences.

Sirius beamed at them. “I love this class. The humor is simply poetic.”

“None of the other classes are so energetic,” said James.

“Whoever did it was a genius,” said Peter.

Remus couldn’t think of a rhyme so he blurted, “His name sure wasn’t Remus.”

After the fun class ended, their faces were stiff from all the grinning. They got so used to talking in rhyme by now that they found it hard to stop.

The experience reminded Remus that he had fierce competition. None of his pranks were this much fun yet. He had to step up his prank game.

Inspired by the rhyming prank, he wanted to use magic. He didn’t know a lot of spells yet so he had to do some research in the Hogwarts Library first.

Over the next few days, Remus continued pulling silly little pranks to keep up his numbers but in the meantime, he practiced a charm he was going to need for his big prank, something he could be proud of. It was difficult, definitely beyond the first-year curriculum but Remus was determined to learn it.

Saturday morning, he got up very early and ran to the Great Hall, determined to arrive before anyone else got there. He brought a bucket of slow-drying paint and the stamp he created and began his work.

He was done before the first people started arriving and slipped out unnoticed, a bead of sweat on his forehead. He was able to cast the Disillusionment Charm multiple times as he planned but it sure was draining. He hid the evidence and tried to look innocent as he made his way back.

He sat down and was soon joined by his roommates.

“Where did you go?” Sirius asked.

“I couldn’t sleep so I went for a walk.”

Thankfully, they didn’t ask more questions and Remus patiently waited for his prank to be noticed.

The first Slytherins started getting up after having finished breakfast and a murmur went through the Hall.

“What’s that on their robes?”

“Where did it come from?”

“Is that an eagle eating a snake?”

Remus chuckled as he watched the Slytherins accuse each other of messing with their robes. They didn’t know yet that every single one of them had the same problem. He stamped each bench by the Slytherin table with an insignia of a snake being eaten by an eagle and so everyone now had their robes or trousers marked with it. The paint was hidden by a Disillusionment Charm so they didn’t know that it was the benches that were responsible.

It was a paint that could be washed off, he wasn’t a mean prankster, but it sure was fun to watch them panic. He initially wanted to make a stamp of a lion as a tribute to his House but decided that he didn’t want to get his House in trouble. He got the idea for an eagle and a snake from the fountain in the courtyard. And wasn’t it fitting? It diverted the accusation away from Gryffindors and suggested Ravenclaws since the eagle was their symbol.

Professor Slughorn, the Potions Master and Slytherin Head of House, got up to investigate and was able to vanish the paint from their robes. But then more of them started to get up with the same issue and he looked like he did not feel like doing it for everyone.

“What’s going on over there?” Sirius asked, craning his neck to see the commotion.

“It looks like Slytherins got pranked,” James said with a grin. “Bloody genius too, these Ravenclaws.”

Remus chuckled silently and enjoyed his breakfast, feeling like a proper prankster. 

☾

Next week was coming to a close and Remus was starting to feel the effects of the moon already. He felt fatigue wash over him throughout the day and tried to cover it up so no one would notice. It was unfair that he had to deal with this but there was no cure for his condition. Soon, he would get to test the arrangements Professor Dumbledore made for him. He had only a few days left.

He tried to not think about it and enjoy the time with his friends, pranking people whenever possible, but then witnessed something which put him in a dilemma.

James secretly hooked a string to the hood of a Slytherin boy during their flying lesson. And so when the boy took off, the broom flew forward and he was wrenched off of it, painfully landing on his back.

Lily, a Gryffindor first-year, came to check on him and discovered the string.

“Who did this?” she yelled and snapped her auburn head around until her eyes landed on James, Sirius, and Peter who were laughing. “You’re such a jerk, James Potter!”

James shrugged and raised his hands. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The Slytherin boy got up with his wand raised. “You’ll regret this, Potter!”

James crossed his arms and fixed the glasses on his nose with one finger. “Don’t blame others for your lack of skill on a broom, Snivelus.”

“Burn,” Sirius and Peter sounded out together among chuckles.

“Boys,” Madam Hooch interfered and eyed the scene, which now comprised of several Gryffindors against one Slytherin who was in a dueling stance, “you’re here to learn how to fly on a broomstick. Keep those silly House feuds out of my lessons.”

And she clapped her hands at them all to disperse the crowd.

Remus was in a pickle. It was possible that James was part of HPC and had just executed one of his pranks. Remus could easily eliminate him by telling Madam Hooch what he witnessed, getting caught by a teacher was one of the methods to lose, but he couldn’t quite make himself do it.

These three boys, James, Sirius, and Peter, treated him like one of their pack and he wanted to keep it this way. He needed them. As much as he wanted to win, he couldn’t jeopardize their growing friendship.

He discreetly checked his badge which by now had number “15” on it. It was unnerving to not know how many pranks his fellow Club members had executed and if he even had a chance. For all he knew, James could be ahead of him.

It didn’t take him long to choose. Remus decided that he didn’t want to win by being a snitch. He just hoped he would not regret this decision later.

☾☾☾

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Remus’ decision will bite him in the tail?


	4. The dethroning

“I’m the Prank King. No one can beat the Prank King.”

Remus turned around, shocked that someone spoke openly about the Prank Club.

A small man dressed in a colorful suit was floating in the corner and mumbling to himself while looking at a small object in his hand which looked just like Remus’ HPC badge.

Remus heard that the school had its own Poltergeist and wasn’t sure if he wanted to meet him so he hid behind a statue to observe.

His dad rambled on about this mischievous spirit quite a lot. Back when he attended Hogwarts, he followed the Poltergeist around the castle and attempted to interrogate him but it usually ended badly. The resident Spirit of Mayhem didn’t like answering questions but loved tricking his father into awkward situations. His dad never complained about it though - he considered it an acceptable side effect of studying Poltergeist habits.

Remus wanted to spare himself the embarrassment Peeves subjected his dad to, and so he tried to satisfy his curiosity from a distance.

Peeves was sitting cross-legged in the air and had a wicker basket on his lap. The sound of steps announced that students were approaching and he became invisible. As two Hufflepuff girls passed underneath him, something small dropped onto the head of one of them and she stopped to touch it.

“Ow.” She brought her hand down to look at it. It was stained with something dark. “Who threw that?”

The girls looked around themselves but saw no one.

“I can’t go to Charms like this,” the girl complained, dark liquid dripping down her forehead.

The girls left and another group of students passed by, also getting hit by what Remus now guessed were ink pellets.

”Peeves will be the Prank King,” he mumbled to himself, tempting Remus to call a teacher to bust the spirit mid-prank.

But he hesitated. The tales his dad told him gave him the impression that Peeves was very capable of holding a grudge. He could make someone’s life a living hell if he felt that he was wronged. If Remus tipped off a teacher to get the Poltergeist caught, Peeves could retaliate for years to come. It wasn’t worth it.

Remus bit down the growing worry that Peeves would win. It felt unfair to have to compete with the Spirit of Mayhem but it would be worse to suffer the consequences and so Remus did nothing when Peeves continued throwing the ink pellets at passing students.

Remus started walking away before he too became a target but was stopped in his tracks when he heard, “Bombarda!”

He ran back to his hiding spot.

Professor McGonagall was standing with her wand raised in front of an ink-covered invisible form of Peeves.

“Peeves!” she yelled. “Get out of here before I blow up more than your ink.”

Peeves reappeared, his basket blown to bits, dark-blue ink staining his clothes and face.

He giggled in a high pitch as he examined the state of his clothes, his grin so wide, it stretched from ear to ear. Then, he pulled out the HPC badge out of his pocket and his grin disappeared.

“Black? Why black? Peeves is the Prank King. Peeves can’t be out!”

“You’ve been caught, Peeves,” McGonagall said, “by a teacher.”

Peeves pressed his lips together like an angry toddler and threw the broken basket at her. She ducked out of the way and threw some nonverbal jinx his way but he popped out of existence before it reached him.

She straightened up the creases in her long gown and put her wand back in her pocket. Her thin lips, which Remus was so grown to seeing pressed together in a strict grimace, were now smirking.

“Another one down,” she said to herself. “This is too easy.”

As the clackety sound of her heels echoed in the corridor, Remus was a little in awe. Professor McGonagall must have been the one that pranked Professor Flitwick! She was going to be a fierce competitor. He vowed to look out for her.

☾

As another week passed, Remus found it difficult to come up with new prank ideas. The familiar crawling under his skin kept distracting him and took away all thoughts of fun. The ghost of his beast was usually invisible, easy to ignore, but when the day of the full moon came, the ghost was about to become real and it wasn’t in the mood for games.

Remus showed up at the Hogwarts Hospital Wing as scheduled, and the school Healer, Madam Pomfrey, escorted him out to the grounds where they walked up to a large tree which swung its limbs when it sensed their approach.

“This species of magical trees is called a Whomping Willow,” she said while keeping her hand on his shoulder. “She will guard the entrance so no one can walk in,” she cleared her throat, “or out.”

She immobilized the tree and kept up a casual chat as if crawling into a hole under its roots and then walking through a dark tunnel was the most normal thing in the world. They finally reached their destination - an abandoned house which constantly creaked and seemed to sway to the wind.

She led him to a room which looked like it was recently swept as it had fewer cobwebs than the rest of the house but it did not change the fact of how dark it was inside. The windows were boarded up and only a little of the late afternoon’s light peeked through, casting ghastly lines of light on the floor. It was good enough to contain the ghost of his beast.

Madam Pomfrey stood at the doorframe and seemed to not know what to say, looking around the derelict room. She reminded him of his mom who was always so nervous to lock the door.

“I’ll be okay,” he assured her with a smile. “You should go.”

She walked up to rub his arm. “I’ll be back for you tomorrow.” Her brows creased in worry lines and she upgraded the rubbing to a hug.

“Madam Pomfrey,” he chuckled when she wouldn’t let him go, “if one could hug the condition out of me, my mom would've cured me years ago.”

She released him and wiped her wet eyes. “It’s one thing to hear that a child was infected, and another to lock him in and leave him to...”

She looked around the room and didn’t finish her sentence.

The ghost of the beast was getting ready to come out and Remus tried to hide it. She was freaked out enough already.

“You should go,” he reminded her.

She touched his face, still reluctant to leave. She was even worse than his mom.

The ghost stirred within him, and he pushed her away.

“Leave!” he said in a hoarse voice.

She stumbled backwards, her lips trembling, she looked like she was going to say something more but then, Remus got on all fours, and couldn’t suppress the guttural groan from escaping his lips which woke her up. She locked the door after herself, leaving him with the creaky house as only company.

Remus stopped trying to resist the change and allowed it to consume him. His beast took over. He was Remus no more.


	5. Elimination

“Look who’s here.”

Remus tried to blink his sleep away but his eyelids felt too heavy to lift.

“Was it you, Lupin?”

Hearing his name gave him more motivation to wake up and Remus forced his eyes open.

He didn’t recognize where he was. It was a room full of white: walls, furniture, and beds were painted in the offending color, and the sharp-bright light streaming through the many windows made it worse. The smell of cleaning potions invaded his nostrils and he covered his nose with a white blanket.

“You can’t hide from this.”

The black-haired Slytherin boy who was saying this sat two beds away from him. Snivelus probably wasn’t his real name.

“What are you talking about?”

Remus immediately regretted speaking up. His throat felt like it was assaulted by river-dancing needles.

“Did the infection start with you?”

The boy lifted his arm which was bandaged from the elbow to the fingertips and Remus’ heart sank so low, it was a wonder he didn’t fall through the bed. Did he get out during the transformation? The Shrieking Shack was supposed to be safe!

“Leave him be, Mr. Snape.” Madam Pomfrey came over with a glass of water. She was wearing a white facemask and thin leather gloves which smelled of strong herbs. “A couple of students were already here before Mr. Lupin was admitted.”

She handed the glass to Remus who tried to soothe his sore throat and struggled to remember the day before. The cool water helped clear his mind fog and he recalled what he saw through the beast’s eyes.

His wolf was at first intrigued at the new location but once he figured that he was trapped again, he went berserk and tried every method possible to get out - no matter how destructive to himself.

The memories of everything after he transformed back were blurry as he was barely conscious, but he remembered the voice of Madam Pomfrey, who frantically tried to heal his wounds and agonized when her spells didn't work.

She gently brushed his bangs aside, worry lining her half-hidden face. It reminded him of his mom again. He wished his parents were here. He had never been away from them for this long before.

“I’m okay,” he whispered, his throat still sore and he took another swig of water to calm it down. “So, what happened to him?”

“We have a baffling epidemic,” she whispered back. She pointed to his hand which was bandaged for no reason. “This is just for appearances.”

She checked his pulse and inspected the bandage on his forearm - the deep self-inflicted gash hasn’t healed yet as expected. With a final sigh, she stopped fussing over him and walked up to another bed, letting Remus have a good look around.

Few other beds were occupied by students with bandaged hands. One of them had gauze wrapped around his entire head, which made him look like a mummy. How was this an infection?

Remus’ bandages fit right in with this crowd and he was thankful that Madam Pomfrey thought of it. He no longer had to invent an excuse for his absence.

The door to the Hospital Wing burst open with magic. Two more students came in, one of them was Sirius, followed by Professor Slughorn who kept a short distance and was careful to not touch anything.

When he saw them, Remus gasped and stifled a laugh. The boys’ hands were covered by thick, rainbow-colored fur.

”Got two more for you, Poppy,” Slughorn said, hesitant to cross the threshold. ”I believe we've isolated the source. I'm going to collect a sample and prepare an antidote.”

While Madam Pomfrey brought her supplies to Sirius and the other boy, Slughorn counted the number of patients. There were nine of them now, including Remus.

”When I find who did it…”

He huffed, turned around and waved his wand to close the door after himself.

Remus craned his neck to observe the new patients. Sirius waved his colorful hand at him, more amused than concerned about it.

Madam Pomfrey pulled his hand down, slathered it with some lotion and then pulled out a roll of gauze which wrapped around his hand on its own.

”Wait!” Snape said from his bed while looking at his hand, ”If this lotion is not the antidote, what is it?”

Madam Pomfrey sighed. ”Inhibit-All prevents the charm from spreading further. You don’t want to end up like Mr. Potter, do you?”

Snape spat, ”My only consolation is that Potter got it worse.”

”James is here?” Remus asked.

”I'm here,” the boy with the bandaged face raised his fully bandaged hand and dropped it limply with a groan. ”There's fur on my lips,” he mumbled through the gauze, ”among other places.”

”So did it start with Potter?”

”Mr. Potter was not the first victim, Mr. Snape,” Madam Pomfrey said from the other side of the room, putting on a fresh pair of gloves, ”though he was most affected by this affliction.”

Sirius ran up to Remus, both hands thoroughly bandaged. ”So it looks like we're out of the Club.”

Remus snapped his head so fast, his neck cracked.

“Yes. We can talk about it now.” Sirius got comfortable on a bed next to Remus and crossed his legs at the ankles. ”I can't believe they got all of us - all but Peter. Did he get lucky?”

”It's a shame,” James mumbled. ”I was going to get you good, Snivelus. I had it all planned out. It was going to be epic.”

”What are you two going on about?” Snape asked.

Remus and Sirius exchanged a knowing look and snickered simultaneously. James was, unfortunately, unable to even lift his head.

Remus was amazed that all of his friends were in the Club and was about to ask Sirius which pranks were his when he remembered that he had to keep his mouth shut. Unlike them, he wasn’t out.

”You can still do whatever you planned,” Sirius said to James, picking at his gauze. ”What's stopping you?”

James sighed. ”I wanted to win.”

”We all did.”

☾

Only a couple more hours passed when the double door opened again. This time, a large cauldron levitated in first, followed by Professor Slughorn who controlled it with a wand.

”Antidote is ready, Poppy.”

“About time,” she put down the book she was reading and got busy with preparations.

”We caught the one responsible,” Slughorn said, one hand in the undersized pocket of his jacket. ”It was a Gryffindor first-year called Peter Pettigrew.”

”Typical,” Snape hissed and Slughorn nodded in agreement.

”Apparently, he tried to prank his friend, Mr. Potter, with an enchanted bottle of shampoo that was only supposed to change his hair color.”

”It did more than that,” James mumbled through the gauze and Remus imagined his friend to look like a rainbow-colored Yeti.

Slughorn continued, ”He cooked up this potion in the fifth-floor boy's lavatory and left some of his concoction on the door handle. Any boy that touched it was affected by his botched-up recipe - though with a delay which is what made it difficult to isolate.”

Madam Pomfrey scoffed with strong disapproval. ”Foolish boy, experimenting like that.”

As the adults continued their conversation and the first students were receiving their antidote, Sirius leaned towards Remus.

”It looks like Peter is out too.”

”So it was all for nothing!” James complained. ”He eliminated all of us and himself in the process!”

Remus concealed a broad grin under his white blanket to hide how pleased he was at this outcome.

He didn't know how many more Club members remained but he was sure of one. He had to eliminate Professor McGonagall.


	6. A challenging foe

“Missed me,” Sirius chuckled and ducked to avoid getting hit by a crumpled piece of paper.

James leaned his chin on his hand while setting up a fresh page in front of him. “I hate essays.”

The Great Hall was emptying after lunch and only a few stragglers were left behind. Remus was done with his homework, but he stayed with his friends anyway and occupied himself by trying to pick the nicest apple from the basket.

Madam Pomfrey’s Strengthening Potion worked well, he recovered from the transformation faster, but it had a side effect - it made him very fidgety and he felt a constant need to do something with his hands. So, he occupied himself by cutting his apple into unnecessarily-small pieces.

“Can I sit with you?” a small voice said behind him.

Sirius was humming to himself and didn’t even look up from his parchment.

James violently crossed off whatever he had written, loudly crumpled the paper and threw it at the source of the voice - Peter, who didn’t even try to get out of the way.

The boy chewed on his bottom lip which only accentuated his large front teeth.

“Sure,” Remus said, feeling sorry for him. They were both ridiculous with this grudge. The potion incident was an accident after all.

Peter rushed to sit next to him and whispered, “Thanks.”

While they stubbornly refused to talk to the boy, Remus offered him a slice of his apple.

”You're the only one who doesn't hate me for the prank.”

”I found it funny.” Remus threw an apple core at James to get his attention. ”If the prank had worked as intended and only affected your hair, you would've laughed at it, wouldn't you, Rainbow-head?”

James frowned. ”I still think Sirius would've made a better target with his shaggy mane.”

He ruffled Sirius’ long hair who swatted his hand away but grinned.

”I can make anything look good.”

Peter nibbled on the apple and slouched on the bench.

“It’s not the end of the world that you didn’t win,” Remus pointed out.

”But what now?” James asked loudly, dropping his quill. ”We just go back to being good little students who do their homework as if HPC never happened?”

”Boring.” Sirius tried to fix his hair so it would go back to its controlled-chaos state. ”I got used to daily pranking.”

James sighed, looking longingly at the Slytherin table. ”Snivelus is begging to be a target.”

Peter sat quietly, afraid to speak up and ate the rest of the apples.

Remus was cutting up a new one when an idea started to take form in his head. He lifted the fruit which was split into four pieces.

”What if we took on a bigger target,” he joined the quarters so it looked like an intact apple again, ”together?”

“We don’t have to stop,” Sirius said with a sly smirk.

”We’ll make our own Prank Club?” James asked.

Remus divided the apple among them. ”Let me tell you about our target.”

And they each munched on their apple quarter while planning their first joint mischief.

☾

Two days later, the four of them wore matching smirks as they came down for breakfast and sat closer to the staff table than usual. Once they put their heads together, it didn’t take them long to plan and execute their project. Now, all that was left to do was to watch it unfold.

The first student walked up to Professor McGonagall who was about to eat her porridge.

“Professor,” the girl raised her cupped hand, “is this a nice specimen?”

McGonagall narrowed her brows and scoffed. “Please, get back to your seat Ms. Noel.“

The girl dropped her eyes, sighed and left her “specimen” in front of McGonagall who leaned away and put down her spoon, losing her appetite.

Before the witch could deal with her gift, a boy walked up with a small box. “I have several, Professor. Aren’t they healthy-looking?”

She peered inside the box and exhaled. “Why, on Merlin’s beard, did you…”

And then a line started to form behind the boy made up of Gryffindor students of various ages who held their specimen in their bare hands or in various containers.

A Prefect got in front of the line. “Professor, I've inspected their specimen and mine is surely the most impressive.”

McGonagall raised from her chair and exchanged a perplexed look with Professor Dumbledore who looked down at her gifts with an amused smile.

Students started to break the line and shoved their offerings towards her, talking over each other.

“I was here first!”

“But look how nice mine is.”

“I have the most, Professor.”

“Mine are wriggling more than yours.”

“Mine is the longest.”

“STOP!” She yelled loud enough that the rest of the Great Hall quieted down to listen. “Would someone explain why you are all bringing me earthworms for breakfast?”

“Is this a wrong time?” the Prefect asked. “The announcement said to find you in the Great Hall.”

“What announcement?”

“The one posted in the Gryffindor Common Room that said you will give twenty House Points and extra credit to the student that brings you the healthiest, longest, shiniest earthworm.”

Dumbledore spat his pumpkin juice and covered his mouth while McGonagall narrowed her eyes on the boy who delivered the news.

“It looked like your handwriting, Professor. It wasn’t?”

More students lined up to deliver their worms and she pursed her lips in anger. Then, she gasped and reached inside her pocket to sneak a peek at what had to be her badge. The angry lines on her face smoothed out as she sighed heavily.

She addressed Professor Sprout, the Herbology teacher, “Pomona, do you need any earthworms for your greenhouses?”

The plump witch smiled. “I’ll take them.”

McGonagall straightened up and linked her hands in front of her. “Very well. Bring your worms to Greenhouse One.”

The Prefect complained, “Do we get the points and the credit?”

She studied the worms in front of her and narrowed her eyes on the few students remaining at the Gryffindor table, trying to find the culprit.

“We should’ve gotten some worms too to blend in,” Sirius whispered while Peter ripped his paper napkin to shreds, but thankfully, they weren’t the only ones left at the table.

The Great Hall remained quiet, waiting for her verdict.

A little smile broke her thin lips. “Twenty points to Gryffindor. Whoever brought me a worm this morning, gets extra credit in my class. Whoever didn’t, gets extra homework.”

The crowd in front of her dispersed and lively conversations started up again as people tried to guess why she had requested so many earthworms. She leaned towards Dumbledore and showed him her badge. The Headmaster laughed as she explained what had just happened.

“More homework?” James whined.

“It was worth it,” Sirius said and dug in. “And it’s only the start.”

Remus couldn’t wait until he had a moment alone so he could check his badge but he had to be patient and bask in this success later.

As Peeves floated over and blew raspberries at irritated Professor McGonagall, Remus happily ate his breakfast, wondering who else was left. He could take on anyone as long as he had his friends with him.


	7. The organizer

The letter that made its way to his bookbag was simple.

_It is time. Meet me at lunchtime in the tapestry corridor._

The corridor was just a few steps away and it seemed like his heart banged louder, the closer he got. What if it was a trap? It would’ve been a sweet prank to fool an HPC member that the results were about to be announced, to allow him to get his hopes up and crush them in the worst possible way. He wished he had come up with something that clever.

But the handwriting looked the same as the invitation letter and so he took the chance. As much as he loved being in this Club, he was ready to reach the finish line.

To his delight, after the eventful breakfast, the number on his badge went up to thirty-two and he figured that he got a point not only for pranking McGonagall but also for each student that fell for it.

He owed this success to his friends. Peter voted for using worms, James suggested to make it public, and they wouldn't have been able to pull it off as smoothly without Sirius' excellent handwriting which matched their Professor's. With their help, Remus put the plan together and executed it within hours.

He looked down at his badge with pride. He had a chance to win this competition. Maybe today he would be given the last task, or maybe the winner would be announced, whichever it was, he was ready.

His heart was still pounding but his thoughts were clearer when he reached the corridor.

The dark silhouette leaning against the wall straightened up upon seeing him. It was a tall teenage girl who did not waste time on greetings.

“You’re on time. Excellent. Follow me.”

She pulled a floor-length tapestry aside and disappeared behind it. He ran after her into a secret tunnel which led to a small chamber, which was mostly empty but for a couple of chairs and a table in the middle, on top of which was a notebook bound with a leather strap.

While the room was stone-gray and the only light source was a torch hung by the entrance, it did not feel cold like the rest of the castle. He was intrigued by the hint of chamomile lingering in the air and wondered if it came from the wicker basket left to gather cobwebs in the corner.

“Is anyone else coming?”

“Peeves eliminated several members,” the girl said and blew her wild red hair off her face, “McGonagall caught a few and you weeded out the rest with your earthworm joke. It’s one for the books, by the way, but it bothers me that you didn’t work alone.”

Remus swung on his feet. “There was nothing in the rules against working together.”

She smirked and put a hand on her hip. “Indeed, there wasn’t.”

She looked familiar. He might have seen her in the Gryffindor Common Room. This reminded him of one of the many questions he had.

“Were all members Gryffindors?”

“All but Peeves. I added him to increase the challenge and weed out those unsuited for the prize.”

“So, you’re the one that organized it?”

“Yes.”

He looked around the room, the most important question hanging in the air.

“So, who won?”

Her raucous laughter could match men winning at poker. “You, who else?”

Remus’ heart skipped a beat, the hope inside getting ready to burst. This seemed too good to be true. “What was the point of it? What’s the catch?”

She made a few calculated, long strides and stopped behind the table.

“The catch is that being the Prank King is a responsibility. Do you really want the title?”

Remus approached the table and eyed the mysterious book. “I don’t want it announced to everyone if that’s what you’re asking.”

"You may keep it to yourself but if you really want the prize," she put both hands around the book seductively, "you have to accept the temptation that will come with it. I have watched you, Remus, and I'm impressed with your stealth and discretion. You know how to keep a secret, don't you?"

She raised an arched eyebrow at him and he smiled gently, trying to not reveal that his hands were getting sweaty. “I can.”

She pushed the book towards him an inch and let go of it. “It’s yours if you want it.”

He was tempted to grab it and run away to study it but wanted to know what he was getting into.

“What’s in it?”

“Spells and magical practices not taught at Hogwarts. How to discover secrets, break through protections, methods of concealment and all sorts of trickery. It’s a magical pranking jackpot, Remus.”

“Why are you parting with it?”

“My prank days have concluded. I have learned all I can from this book. I wish to become a Curse-Breaker, you know? It’s time to pass the baton to the next generation and focus on my studies instead.”

Remus opened the book and traced the hand-written notes, having a hard time accepting the gift. He wanted it but for much more than just pranking. “Thank you, uh… I don’t know your name.”

She shook his hand firmly and held it.

“Patricia Rakepick. I’ll see you around, Remus. Do me proud, Your Majesty,” she added with a wink.

She disappeared into the dark entrance, leaving Remus with the book and the promise of the fun years to come. It was only the beginning.

☾

The boys had a bounce in their step as they made their way to McGonagall’s class to hear what their extra homework was.

James twirled a wand between his fingers. “Do you think we’ll ever learn who won?”

Remus grinned. “Maybe one day.”

“Well, we’ll just have to outprank the winner.”

Sirius finished his thought. “Or hold our own competition.”

“So what’s our next prank?” Peter asked, his hands by his chin, fingertips tapping each other.

“Just don’t cook any potions,” James said immediately.

"I'm actually good at Potions. Professor Slughorn said that he would've been impressed if my invention had worked exactly as I intended. As it didn't, I have detentions for the rest of the year, but still, he was impressed."

James’ eyes were scorching. “ _I_ wasn’t impressed.”

Peter bit on his bottom lip. “Sorry. Again…”

James rolled his eyes. “Whatever. You got me, Short-Stuff. I have to give you props for that. I didn’t see it coming at all.”

Sirius hung onto both of their shoulders. “Feel free to prank him again.”

Peter smiled earnestly for the first time since the incident and looked up at James with puppy eyes, waiting for absolution. James pulled his head into an arm-lock and rubbed his short hair violently.

“Just try! I dare you.”

Peter giggled and did not struggle as the assault continued.

“Let’s just stick to pranking others.” Remus freed the boy before James pulled all his hair out.

He was starting to understand the responsibility Patricia talked about. He had to learn how to reign in his friends. Armed with the expert knowledge and capable of causing serious magical mayhem, things could quickly get out of control. Someone had to be the voice of reason and he did not mind filling the role.

They took up most of the hallway as they fell into an even stride, walking side by side, though Peter with his short legs had to catch up from time to time.

They didn’t have a name for their group yet but it wouldn’t stop them from making one for themselves. For now, they were a band of pranksters, unknowingly led by the newly crowned Prank King.

☾☾☾

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, can you believe it? We've reached the end. How did you like Remus, the Prank King?
> 
> I always appreciate reviews, good or bad, give it to me. I live off of them.
> 
> If you can't get enough of Remus, I wrote another story about him - The Beast of Knockturn Alley. You will also find him in The New Order of Merlin Book 2: Cursed.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


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